Friday, 8 August 2014

Friday Funny




A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy
one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men
will get it the first time.

My work is done here.

===========================================

Water in the carburetor

WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous "

WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out.
Where's the car?

WIFE: "In the pool"

===========================================


THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRYSOME IN
RECENT YEARS.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary.

It means 75% are running around untreated.


===========================================

HE MUST PAY

Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He
fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."

Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to
live with you.

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Today's Short Reading from the Bible...

From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would
be found in all corners of the earth."

Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!

====================================

21 comments:

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I actually got the avocado joke withOUT rereading it. And I'm NOT a man (grin).

The last one was the best of all. He (or she) who gets the last laugh and all . . . .

Have a great weekend, dear Sam.

Kathyk said...

Me too - LOL!

Kathyk

Debs Willis said...

The round earth one made me snort my tea! Love it :-)
Hugs
Debs x

Laura said...

*chuckles*
Laura

Di said...

Ha, ha - that brightened the morning up :)

Hugs, Di xx

Amanda said...

Thank you for these, the last one made my hubbie snort his tea lol. Hugs, Amanda x

Robyn Oliver said...

Hi Hettie...nope I had to read it twice, hubby didn't but I did get a good laugh with all the rest...smart God!!! Happy Friday Smiles, Robyn

Annie said...

Oh Sam those are brilliant...I'm chuckling now.
My smile for you is that all documents are now in and our solicitor is now looking for a moving date for us :-)
Hugs,
Annie x

Mrs.D said...

Sam, Where do you get them from? I couldn't stop laughing about the one about the worrying statistic and the one about the MIL I must warn my SIL about that.
Keep them coming.
Chris #7

Lunch Lady Jan said...

Liked the MiL one best...snigger :-)
Hugs, LLJ xx

Belinda Basson said...

Thanks for this...I really needed a laugh after the week I have had. Now to settle down to a good week-end. Nothing planned, not even a craft item! What a relief, I might not get out of bed.

Kathleen said...

Great gags made me titter.
Sent Hubbie to get me 4 oranges, he came back with 4 grapefruits, love grapefruits but can't have them due to my tablets, took me trying 4 people who liked them but couldn't take them because of their tablets before I found one person that could eat them.

Kath x

Helen said...

I had to go back and read it.. great funnies today! Have a good weekend.

mamapez5 said...

I saw the avocados first time, but it's the cornerless earth that really made me smile. Kate x

Judys Fabrications said...

Nope I had to re read the first one!!
Thanks for the laughs Hettie!!!

SARN said...

Thanks for making me chuckle this morn . . . loved each one! X

Twiglet said...

Thanks for the chuckle! x Jo

Darnell J Knauss said...

Badabing! Each.one.had.me.rolling!! Thank you, Sam!! Hugs, Darnell

Kyla said...

boom, boom, tish! Brilliant especially the last one :-)

kyla

Bonnie said...

What a jackpot of giggles here, Sam! Thanks for bring us laughter!

butterfly said...

Very good - nice work on the avocados!
Alison xx