Saturday, 19 December 2015

Friday, 11 December 2015

Friday Smiles

Hello Friends

Now it is traditional that I share a joke with you and Annie on a Friday, but today I wanted to share some real smiles that I have had recently, last week in fact.  I hope you don't mind!!

My Hubby, my Bestie and her Hubby, and myself (oh and who can forget Fergus!) went on a little trip to Prague last week.  What a wonderful time we all had.  So sorry if this bores you but here goes...

 Just look at the colour of that sky!!!
My Bestie and Her Hubster!!  As you can see he was in the Christmas spirit!!

My new Friend!!

A view from down river.

Yours truly and Hubbie people watching.  Note the alcoholic amongst us!!

 How about this for a Christmas Tree?  This is just the base of it!  I would love those Gingerbread houses around mine!!

And what about Fergus??  We found him unashamedly drunk after the first night!!!


Off to join Annie and the crew for Friday Smiles. I hope this made you smile too!!

See you later and have a great weekend.

Hettie




Thursday, 10 December 2015

One for the Hubbie...

Hello Peeps

Sorry I have not been around much the last week or so,  Hubby and  I went away for a short holibob and I have come back to a whirligig of Nativity Plays and appointments and things....Busy busy!

You remember I told you that I found some old photos of projects I have not shared?  Well this is one of them....

It is my Anniversary card for Hubby a little while ago....


Very plain and simple but he liked it.  It does what is says on the tin!!  

I took two bits of cream cardstock out of my Snippets drawer...yep, cream and white card goes in a drawer!!!!  I die cut them using a Sizzix die then taking my Stampin Up embossing folder that I was forced, yes forced to buy, and I ran one of the hearts through it, before layering them, punching holes with my faithful crop a dile and then stringing some Maya Road string round the card.  My little stamp with WV Potting Soil before attaching this piece of card onto the card base.

I am off to the Snippets Playground with this.  I understand the dress rehearsal for the Natitty Play is on Friday afternoon so I hope to see you all there in your costumes.  My Mum has washed some tea towels up ready, just gotta iron them but not before the day or they will get creased!!  Does anyone know if Parsnip and Fergus have got parts yet?  

Thanks for popping over.

Hettie

Friday, 4 December 2015

Friday Funny

 A Very good friend of mine shared these with me so I am just passing them on to you.....

Marriage (Part I)

Macho man married good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.  I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. 

Those are my rules. Any comments?'

 
His new bride said:
'No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not.'

 
(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************************

 

 
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!'
'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!'

 
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

 

 
*****************************************


 
Marriage (Part III)

 
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.  Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no good in bed either,' and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, 'What took you so long to answer to the phone?'

She says, 'I was in bed.'

'In bed this early, doing what?'

'Getting a second opinion!'

 
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

 
*****************************************

 

Marriage (Part IV)

 
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, 'Any time you're ready, Father of Four.'

 
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
*****************************************
 
 
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

 
****************************************


 
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Now that I have made you smile, hope over to Annie's where you will see more reasons to smile!

Monday, 30 November 2015

One for my Great Niece...

Hello Friends

My Nephew and his wife recently had a beautiful little girl who they named Autumn Rose. So here is my little card I made to celebrate..... 

I cut the onesies and washing line with my Silhouette.  Background stripey paper was from the Snippets drawer.  The white background is plain card which I punched on both edges with my EK Success punch and I added a strip of washi tape, which is actually pink, I could not resist adding a little teddy button to the bottom corner and instead of the little flowers that were included in the Silhouette cut I added some little heart embellies.  I also added the little wooden pegs.

Off to the Snippets Playground with this one after I have put it in a plastic bag as it is still very wet here.  Got my wellies and souwester on too!!  At least the ducks will be happy!

Now what time is the rehearsal for the Nativity Play again?  Where is my tea towel......

Hettie


Friday, 27 November 2015

Friday Funny


The World economy explained with two cows ......


 SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.


 COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.


 FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.


 BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.ĵ
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.


 INVESTMENT CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank You then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.


A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.


A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.


 A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.


AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.


AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.


 A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.


A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.


AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One of them is a horse.


Off to share these with Annie.  I hope these made you smile!!  Have a great weekend. 

Wednesday, 25 November 2015

NBUS Christmas Stamp....Yippee!! and Rudolph Day

Greetings!

It is Santa's Head Elf here sharing with you a NBUS Christmas Stamp on this auspicious day.  Why auspicious?  Because it is the last Rudolph Day before the Big One!!!!  

So to kick this Rudolph Day off here is my first card....
Isn't that stamp just gorgeous!! My lovely friend from over the water sent it to me.  You know who you are.  MWAH!!  It is by Stampenduous and is called Fireside Ivy.  I actually got the inspiration to Viv and I hope I have done her card justice!

So what I did was to stamp it on a background card with Versamark and embossed it with white WOW embossing powder.  I did the same again on some vellum.  Then I took my oval die and cut out the middle of the vellum piece before placing it over the top of the background card and securing it with brads.  I then mounted the whole thing onto the card, added some faux stitching with my Sharpies white chalk pen and added some ribbon with a little stamped tag (Hero Arts stamp).

Now what do you suppose I did with the vellum centres that were cut out?  Yep, like a good little Santa Elf I cut some more ovals from plain card and tied them together to make tags for my parcels.  How is that for recycling my Snippets?

Right that is all from me.  I must get busy as the Chief Elf (i.e. the chap in the red suit) keeps going on about deadlines etc.  He is a bit tetchy right now!!

Off to share this with my buddy Mo and of course my other buddy Parsnip down at the Snippets Playground.  

Thanks for calling by.  Will pop over later once I have done my dance class.

Hettie

Saturday, 21 November 2015

Funkie Junkie Christmas Jumpers...

Hello My Friends!!

It is about time I joined in with the Funkie Junkie 12 Tags of Christmas again.  I have jumped to Tag 4.  Well! I am behind so I can choose which one I want to play with next.  Jump HERE and you can see Linda's Tag.

I don't know if it is just me, but when I see these dies/stamps I always think of Christmas jumpers.  So I decided why not make some in cardstock.  


I took a Snippet piece of white card out of my crapalanche and some NBUS stamps of hats, scarfs and mittens mounted on a block, my Versamark and red glitter embossing powder and stamped a background panel.  

Next the jumper.  I turned on my Silhouette and went to the design store to find some jumpers.  I cut two out of cardstock then cut the arms off, laid all three pieces side by side and stamped the Tim Holtz stamp and embossed it with WOW white embossing powder.  I then joined the sleeves back on with some tissue tape.  If you are wondering why I bothered to cut the sleeves off, I am also a knitter and fair isle is knitted in straight lines and then joined to the body, hence just stamping the whole jumper in one go would not look right.


When I put the jumper onto the background, I felt the background was far too "busy" but I really wanted to use it, so I stamped a sentiment on to some vellum with Versamark and WOW powder and placed it over the top of the background securing it with brads then a quick tag, well Linda's is a tag, some ribbon and a wooden embellishment, inspired by Linda's tag, finished the card off.

Oh, I said I made two jumpers so here is the second card.   


I made this a portrait style card this time.  

I really like these cards and may make a few more.  

If you want any of the Tim Holtz stamps, they are available at The Funkie Junkie Boutique.  

Thanks for calling by.  There is still time to join in the Funkie Junkie 12 Tags of Christmas with some fun prizes to win if you complete all 12.

Off to join in with the Snippets Playground as I did use some Snippets, just as soon as the gates have been opened.

Hettie

Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Happy Birthday Rachel...

Hello there Peeps!!
 
Sorry I have not been around  much, but life just seems to get in the way of things lately.  To be honest I had not been in my craft room much lately, or so I thought.  I was thinking it was about time I emptied my camera and there were more crafty photos on there  than I realised so I thought I would share one of the cards made most recently for my Buddie Rachel.

The green is quite different to what these photos show, and the text is a good match, unlike the photos.  I never quite get how some colours, green, blue and red, don't always photograph that well.  Or is it just that the weather was not good when I too, the photos?  Oh hum!!
 
These Spellbinders border dies were bought nearly a year ago and except for the initial playing when I received them, they have not seen fresh air.  Naughty me!!  I will say though that they are pesky little dies and thank goodness I had waxed paper or else they may have just ended up in the bin!!  Thanks Miss Di for that little gem!!
 
I also used a Tonic die for the flourish and Memory Box dies for the butterflies and Liquid Pearls for the dots.  The paper is Bo Bunny which was a fresh-never-been-used-before sheet.  Well Rachel is a good friend.  The butterfly and white pieces were all Snippets so I am going to sneak down to the Snippets Playground and see what is afoot.  I understand Mrs A is planning to put some of my chickens in the Nativity Play, so I want to see who else is going to be on stage!!
 
See you all for some hot chocolate!!
 
Hettie
 
 

Friday, 6 November 2015

Friday Funny

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in, looking tired and somber.

'I'm afraid, I'm the bearer of bad news,' he told the assembled relatives.

'The only hope for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant'

'It is however an experimental procedure and carries a high risk but it is the only hope.  Insurance will not cover the operation and should you wish to proceed, you will need to pay for the brain yourselves'

The family members all sat in shocked silence as they absorbed the news and then finally after a great length of time someone asked, 'well, how much does a brain cost?'

The doctor replied, '£5000.00 for a male brain and £200.00 for a female brain'

The moment turned awkward.  The men in the room, tried hard not to smile and, heads down tried to avoid all eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.  One of the men, unable to contain himself, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask: 'Why is the male brain so much more?'

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the group: 'It's just standard pricing procedure.  We have to mark down the price of a female brain, because they have actually been used!!

Joining in with Annie for the Friday Smiles!!!  Have a great weekend everyone.

Sunday, 1 November 2015

Rudolph Day and Funkie Junkie and Snippets Playground

Hello There!!
I hope you are having a good weekend, and have not encountered too many ghosts tonight!!
Our internet connection has been rather affected by all the witches flying hereabouts so it has taken me two hours just to load up my photos of my C Card which I am trying desperately to share before the deadline over at Scrappy Mos.  I also want to share it with the Funkie Challenge as I took my inspiration with Tag 4.
Here is the card.....

I really liked the "tartan" look of Linda's background, but I do not have the stripes stencil, nor a stripe stamp so I used my Wendy Vecchi background stamp and Festive Berries DI and grabbed a snippet piece of cream cardstock that was in the crapalanche next to my guillotine.  Then I took my Forest Green and Mustard Seed DI pen and a ruler and drew on the lines before taking a water brush and going over the stripes.  Once this was dried I took my TH holly stencil and bronze embossing paste and left overnight to dry.



While the background was drying I se to work on the rest of the card.  I took some dark green cardstock and cut the holly design using my Silhouette.  I cut a paler green card stock with a Joanna Sheene Ivy die and then ran my embossing tool over the back of the greenery.   I needed some red berries so I used some snippets of  glitter cardstock and my TH lamppost die to create the berries.

Next the Poinsettia for which I used some cream textured cardstock, edged with Gathered Twigs DI and then layered them, once shaping them.  I used some bronze embossing powder to make the poinsettia centre and edge of the green layer.




Last was the sentiment, which I used a TH stamp, bronze embossing powder, a piece of red MME background paper and my card was complete. 
Let's hope I can still link with the Rudolph Day challenge, Scrappy Mo being in Canada.  I am also linking this with Linda over at Funkie Junkie.  I do need to catch up with the other tags I have missed out.  And lastly, I am linking with my mate Di over at the Snippets Playground.  I hear there is a rather large bonfire party planned.  I am in charge of the marshmallows!!

I have just learnt from my friend Viv that this also qualifies for the Festive Flowers and Foilage challenge over at Sir Stamp Alot.  Thanks Viv!
 
Have a great week every one.  Don't forget that if you wish to buy any of the goodies I used for this they (and other things) are available at the Funkie Junkie Boutique!!
Hettie

Friday, 30 October 2015

Friday Funny

 A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the
next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
 
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'
 
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by
   drinks... They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
 
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time..
 
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
 
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. . ..




Wait for it ... ....





It's coming ..... ....




The  suspense is killing you, isn't it?






She said ... ...

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

(Oh shut up, and just forward it!)
 
Sharing this with Annie for our regular Friday Smiles!!