Friday, 30 May 2014

Friday Funny

An  American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.  So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.

On  his first day he was inside a church taking photographs, when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.

 The  American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by, what the telephone was used  for.

 The  priest replied that it was a direct line to Heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

 The  American thanked the priest and went along his  way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large Cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under  it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked nearby nun what  its purpose was.

 She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

 'O.K.,  thank you,' said the American.

He  then travelled all across America, Europe, EnglandJapanNew Zealand. In  every church he saw the same looking golden telephone, with the same '$US10,000 per call'  sign under it.

The  American decided to travel to Wales to see if Welsh people had the same  phone.

He  arrived at Cardiff in Wales and  again, in the first church he entered, there was  the same looking golden telephone, but this time  the sign under it read, '40 cents per  call.'

The  American was surprised, so he asked the Priest  about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over  the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them, the price was $10,000 per call.  Why  is it so cheap here?'

The Priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Wales now, son - "This is Heaven," so it's a local call'.

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

WOYWW 260 - Happy 5th Anniversary!!!


Happy Happy 5th Anniversary to all my WOYWWing friends and of course the host Julia, who had the idea of creating WOYWW.  I have a lot to thank Julia for... my blog - I only started it having visited Julia a few times as a non-blogger, lots of new blogging friends and some friends for life.  Thank you Julia!  Also thank you for the third Crop last weekend.  I had a ball!

Here I am enjoying some fun and in my "fun zone" on Saturday...

The day went so fast, before I knew it, we were packing up.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I have rediscovered my love of poetry.  So especially for you Julia...

Our Day at the WOYWW Crop

Lots of excitement, squeals of delight,
"How do you dos" and "Give us a Hug",
"What are you up to" and "Ooo look at that",
A wonderful buzz here at Julia's Crop

Bags are unpacked, another arrives,
Jan's making tea and there's cake going round,
Name stickers on, desks getting fuller,
We're full of intentions but we must have fun.

Hardly time to settle down and 
Lunch is being announced,
After all the cake I have had today
 I shouldn't eat an ounce.

There's salad, quiche, meat and bread, 
All served with smiles and love,
The hall soon goes into deathly hush
Whilst we concentrate on grub.

The plates are cleared, we are all full, 
We all go back to our desks,
Lots more chatter, the Big Shot's busy,
"Anyone for tea?" "Oo err. Yes!"

More "Oos" and "Ahs" and "Oh that's clever", 
"Have you done that today?"
Wandering round desks, having a natter,
"Wanna swap an ATC?"

Silence now, Julia's talking, 
Tickets out girls, time for the raffle,
"It's me", "Its mine", "Oh drat very close!"
There's a free table too, don't leave nowt for the host.

Before too long some folks have to leave us,
More hugs now as they are packing and parting,
An exchange of emails and addresses,
"Keep in touch", best of Budds forever.

A flurry of packing, clearing and stacking, 
Jan tells us all the clock is ticking.
The keys need to be back by 5 o'clock,
Au Revoir, TTFN, see ya next Wednesday!

Enough of that...back to my desks, more of a case of Who's On Your Workdesk Wednesday...

Here is Fergus supervising my finishing off of my quilt.  Would you believe that I started this is around 2000?

And here is Monkey, wearing my WOYWW badge - now you know why I wasn't wearing it on Saturday Julia, and his new Buddy, made by Mary.  Thank you.  Blimey my desk needs a good tidy up!

Right then go HERE to see the Host and links to the other desks.



Tuesday, 27 May 2014

T on Tuesday...T Stands for err...

Hello there Peeps!

I am late for the Tea on Tuesday with my friend Elizabeth and Bleubeard.  Unfortunately I only finished this project yesterday and the light was no good for taking photos so I had to take them this morning.  Being the first Tuesday back after Bank Holiday it was hard to get up early enough!

So here is my cuppa...

In case you didn't know, I am a huge fan of NCIS, or should I say Leroy Jethro Gibbs.  What I wouldn't do to be left in an interview room with him!  

Anyhoo...moving on!  The book that is next to my mug is another leaving book for one of the girls in work.  She is leaving the firm after being there since she was 16...36 years!  I was asked to make a book for her, which I said yes, then had to think of a theme.  Well, she likes my chicken cards, the last one she had was framed, so I decided it would be a chicken themed book.

So far all the girls who have signed it have told me they like it...phew!

I have used a mixture of goodies in this.  My Mind's Eye, Crafty Individuals, Stampin Up, Artemio, Penny Black, Tim Holtz, Bazzill, Memento, Papermania, Inkadinkado, WOW embossing powder and of course Snippets!  so off to the Playground I will run!  The flowers on the front were all in my Snippets tin - hurrah!

Thanks for calling by.  Don't forget to call by Elizabeth's for a cuppa.  


Monday, 26 May 2014

What? Rudolph Day again? So soon?

Hello there Peeps

After having a very busy and sociable weekend I have had to knuckle down this morning and make some Rudolph Day cards to join in with my Mate's Challenge.  So without further delay...

 This card has been made entirely from recycled cards.  The purple background is a card that was sent to me some time ago, so I cut it down to make the background for this card.  The silver card is from a Christmas card I received last year and kept it as I knew it would come in for a background this year.
The same image but this time mounted on a VOS card base and I added a Memory Box wreath cut from some glitter card and using a Snippet of white I cut out the sentiment.  I must check this as it looks slightly wonky but I am sure it didn't when I made it.  Looking closer the card itself has not exactly been photographed straight!  Oops!

And for a bonus here is Mr Wise Owl.  I just love this image.  All of today's images are Penny Black and were all very kindly stamped for me on Saturday.  Thank you.  These are now featuring on my Wish List.  Is it just me or does the Wish List get longer and not shorter?

I am liking this Owl a lot.  

Now these cards feature some Snippets too, so as well as entering them into this month's Rudolph Day challenge I am also taking them along to the Snippets Playground.  

Some of you may know that Miss and I went on a jolly on Saturday.  I can report that we were both good girls and played nicely, no tugging of pigtails of any sort.  Miss even got a photo of me...

I cannot believe how tidy I am for a change!  Can you see my camera there?  I only took one photo of the day!  I am kicking myself now!

Anyhoo, see ya over the Playground!


Friday, 23 May 2014

Friday Funny

Black Panties

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago.  Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the dating world. Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. 

Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom I have someone for you to meet." 

Well, it was an immediate hit.  They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain...

Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties.  He in his birthday suit. 

Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?" 

She replied:

"My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning." 

He knew he was not getting lucky that night.

The following night was the same,  She stood there wearing the black lacy panties, and he was in his birthday suit.  But now he was wearing a black condom... 

She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"

He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences"

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

WOYWW 259...In the issue where I share 3 desks!

Hello there!  Happy Wednesday, Happy Hump Day, Happy Not-Long-til-the-weekend Day!

It is also WOYWW day too with the Hostess Julia.  Now Julia asks us to be brief so I shall try to be.

Today I am sharing 3 desks with you.  First Desk 1.

On here you will see the makings of another Leaving Book, my green journal, some papers and my ATCs.  Now don't you all try blowing the picture up...they are all in envelopes ready for the off.  No. 1 is being kept for my recipient and the rest I shall either post or take on Saturday.

Here is Desk 2...
Free of any paper and paints as it is being used for sewing only these days.  You can see my new Dressmaking book I bought from a famous online book shop having looked at it somewhere else.  It was £16 cheaper!  I know I usually try to buy local and I understand that shops have to pay overheads but that was too much of a discount.  Besides which I was able to raise funds through Easy Funding for the Quilters Guild through ordering it on line.

Here is Desk 3...
This desk was cleared just over a week ago.  Cleared of all detritus, old papers, pens that no longer worked, and look at it now.  I am trying to prepare a project to take to the Crop on Saturday as well as make ATCs etc etc etc.  So it all spilt over to my puter desk.  Well, it should not take long to clear.

And my dress...
Just needing sleeves.  I have really taken my time over this rather than try to rush it.  I even managed to get the zip in without too much stress (hence why I wanted that book!).  I am pretty pleased with it so far.  Even my facings were pretty flat.  The dummy is called Elspeth and I bought her with money from Christmas.  Yes! I held onto it for that long.  

Right.  Over to Julia's desk now.  Only 3 more sleeps to the Crop and 7 more sleeps til the anniversary.

Thanks for calling by.


PS If you would like to swap ATCs with me, please leave me a comment!

Monday, 19 May 2014

Time for a rummage...

Hello there!

Here we are on a Monday again.  Is it me or are weekends just whizzing past at a fast rate of knots lately?  I hope you all had a good weekend and were able to enjoy the lovely weather we had.  

So onto today's offering. There have been a few birthdays in the office this last month and there were three in one week so I decided that I would challenge myself to make them all using bits and pieces that were either:

(a)    in my Snippets tin
(b)    in my Snippets drawer
(c)    on my desk.

So here is Card 1...

The strip of spots is from Bo Bunny and came out of the Snippets drawer.  It was left over from some mini books I made last year!  The leaf skeleton was laying around on my desk - no idea why.  The background to the stamped image was from the bottom of my spray box at some point.  The stamped images are Artistic Outpost ones and were either sent to me pre-owning the set or some of my own...not quite sure. They were in the Snippets tin anyhoo.  The string is Maya Road and is always to be found on my desk as it is in constant use.  I suppose it is not actually a "Snippet" as such but everyfink else is!

The card was actually for my male Boss.  If you saw his desk you would understand the "Simplify" message", and his floor, and my spare desk...

So then, can you guess where I am taking this lickle card then?  Yep, that is right, down to the Snippets Playground.  Sooo excited as I get to play hopscotch with Miss on Saturday in LLJ's Playground!!  Yeay!

Thanks for calling in.  So lovely to see you.  Please don't forget to leave me a note so I know you have been.

Have a great week.


Friday, 16 May 2014

Friday Funny

A circus owner runs an advert for a ?lion tamer wanted? and two people show up.

One is a retired golfer in his late-sixties and the other is a drop-dead, gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history."

"Here's your equipment -- a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.

The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor!! He says, "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"

He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The tough old golfer replies, "Possibly...but you've got to get that lion out of there first."

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Tea on Tuesday....T stands for PoeTry!

Hello There

It is Tuesday and, as I am inclined to do on a Tuesday, I am sharing a drink over with Elizabeth.  Traditionally it is supposed to be a cuppa tea but when I took my photo in readiness to share with you I had a glass of South African Vino at the ready so I thought I would share it anyway.   

If you happen to have read my previous post, you will know that I mentioned that I went on a Creative Writing/Journalling course on Saturday.  To be honest I was not sure what the day would entail but it was a really good day.  I had to engage my brain in a way that I haven't done in a while and also write more than I have done for a long while but I felt very good (and shattered) when the day was finished.  

The general theme of the day was Spring.  We were all asked, around the table, what Spring meant to each of us.   We were then split into groups of 2/3 and we were given a set sense (taste, sight etc) and time (3 mins) in which to talk to the other/s in the group, listing down any ideas.  The next 4 mins were spent in writing down our lists then picking out two items that stood out and write some words about each.  Bear with me here!  Rebecca then picked each of us at random and asked us to read out our words.  She then wrote all of them down and a Group Poem was born.....

Rebecca has kindly allowed me to share this poem with you and I would just like to share this with you know, whilst we are still in Spring.  I hope you like it...

Spring is when wet petals cling to you,
Rain heavying petals and wisps and making
Them earthbound.
Spring is the excitement of the new,
Inspiring an energy surge.
Spring is the bees buzzing,
Blue skies and sunshine,
Swifts screeching over the river,
Bringing back memories of
Warm Italian evenings.
Sniff and recognise the hedgerow smell
As a compot of the flavours of spring,
Forming an olfactory soup,
And let the smells inform your appetite.
Spring is the real New Year,
A time of new thoughts and new beginnings.
It is the sun warming, creaking, waking things up.
Watch the vast lawns of bluebells
Swaying in the wind.
Spring is the smell of the earth after rain,
A sense of awakening,
The bleating of new lambs,
And voices longer into the evening.

Group Poem
Spring Creative Writing Workshop, May 10th 2014.
Arts Alive, with writer Rebecca Loncraine

I hope you like it.  Off now to see what other cuppas folks are up to and drinking over at Elizabeth's.  Hic!


Sunday, 11 May 2014

Happy Birthday to my Buddy!

Hello there

Gosh this last weekend has flown by quickly!  I hope it was a good one for you all.  I went to a workshop yesterday with my Buddy.  Creative Journalling with Rebecca Loncraine.  I will tell you more about that in a later post.

Today I want to share with you the card I made for my Buddy Mandy for her 50th Birthday....

The background was a piece of Crafty Individuals paper, part of a pad I won some time ago.  The doily was made using my new Tonic die set that I fell in love with and could not resist buying when I saw it in my local craft shop.  I used my "crafty" money.  

I also used my Joanna Sheen Ivy die, Tonic petals dies manipulated into flowers, McGill tiny flowers and my Martha Stewart butterfly.  Some pearls and ribbon and a small discreet 50 cut from some silver cardstock using my Quickutz die cutter.
I am entering this into Mrs A's Butterfly Challenge as well as the Snippets Playground, plenty of Snippets used in here.    I am also entering it into the SOS Challenge.

Thanks for calling by and I hope you ahve a good week.


Friday, 9 May 2014

Friday Funny

Three Holy Men and a Bear...

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion..
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.  'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the way to start."

Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Tea on Tuesday - T is for BeauTiful.

Hello there

I hope you all had a beautiful weekend over the Bank Holiday weekend?  I sure did for most of it.  I decided it would be a computer free time as I spend so long all day on my work computer and then a few hours in the evening, the sun was out to play and I was going to enjoy it.

Now it is Tuesday, and time to share a cuppa with my friend Elizabeth.

Now regulars will know I usually share a scrapbook project with you.  However, today I am going to share something that will no doubt turn into a scrapbook project.  The mug is a bit of a clue.....

It is actually one of Mr Hettie's Sophie Allerton mugs, which he let me borrow for my share today. What am I showing you?  Something wonderful from late yesterday afternoon.  Mr Hettie opened up our bee hive....
Some propalis honey in the making there.  This was the first time I was able to spot it.

Some capped honey ready for us to extract in the next week or so....
We took the frame below out for a few moments and the bees came up for a looksie...
Now this is a frame with egg cells on.   No if you look closely towards the top, about a third of the way down you will see a little black spot poking out.....

Here it is before the....
And now....  Yes.  We got to witness a bee emerging from its cell!  It is the one on the left here.  What a wonderful sight to capture.  Mr Hettie thinks it is a drone as it is substantially larger than the other bees, though not big enough to be a new Queen.  I feel so honoured that we were able to see it and on an occasion when I remembered to take the camera with me.
And here I am in my finery!  That is the Chicken Run behind me!

I hope you enjoyed sharing this with you and no doubt you will see a scrapbook project using these photos.



Friday, 2 May 2014

Friday Funny

A student asked his English professor, “What is the definition of a dilemma?"

The professor said, “Well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that. Imagine that you are lying in bed with a beautiful naked young woman on one side and a gay man on the other ... who are you going to turn your back on?