Friday, 7 February 2014

Friday Funny

A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. 

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" 

Sam looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the Farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Sam.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. 

Then Sam says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" 

"You're a Member of the European Parliament", says Sam. 

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered Sam. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.



SARN said...

Would be hilarious if weren't so blinking TRUE!!!!

Happy Friday xxxx

Mrs A. said...

Here's me thinking he was going to say he had a sick one back in the cow shed! Brilliant. hugs Mrs A.

Twiglet said...

Brilliant - I hope it's not really that bad but in my heart I feel it may well be so! x Jo

Annie said...

Oh Sam that is sooooo right. :-)
And in case you are wondering ....I have a huge smile on my face following the phone call I had this morning :-)
Annie x

Sue said...

This is spot on Sam :) have a great weekend huggles Sue xx

Helen said...

We're all laughing, but just know it's all too true!

Kathleen said...

Very good.

Kath x

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

Although I'm an American, I can still totally appreciate the humor in this. So funny.

Lunch Lady Jan said...

Lol, that made me laugh!! Do you have one about the Environment Agency too??
LLJ xx

Darnell J Knauss said...

Oh, this one got me good, Sam, and I'm not even European. I could change a few of those words to make it work for the U.S. Senate and it's all the same! Thank you for the belly laugh!! I hope you are enjoying the weekend and the weather has settled down! Hugs, Darnell

butterfly said...

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant - only not just the European parliament sadly... you don't need to go as far as that, just over to Westminster...
Alison xx

Kyla said...

So true :-)

Karen Petitt said...

it would make me laugh a lot, which it did a little, it's a shame it's so near to the truth lol xx

MaryH said...

We have this same story about our USA politicians! Too true & sad. Didn't realize it was that bad over your way too! TFS - Hugs