Friday, 27 November 2015

Friday Funny


The World economy explained with two cows ......


 SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.


 COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.


 FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.


 BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.ĵ
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.


 INVESTMENT CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank You then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.


A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.


A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.


 A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.


AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.


AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.


 A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.


A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.


AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One of them is a horse.


Off to share these with Annie.  I hope these made you smile!!  Have a great weekend. 

13 comments:

Annie said...

It's so good to have you back. You've been missed....and so have your smiles 😀 Really hope all is ok with you.
Hugs,
Annie x

Barb said...

Don't know how PC this is but I laughed out loud. Have a lovely weekend. Barbxx

SARN said...

Udderly brilliant! (Sorry!)

Like Barb, I laughed out loud and this!

Hugs, Sarn xxx

Angela Radford said...

Love it, brilliant. Have a great weekend, Angela x

Lisca Meijer said...

Wow! Like Sarn said: Udderly brilliant! I laughed my head off.
Have a good week,
Lisca

Helen said...

Fantastic as always Hettie! had a great chuckle out loud.

Mrs A. said...

And you think I have problems!!!!!!!!!!!.

Viv is playing Mary. I have told her that the cushion needs to be securely fastned this year cos last yr everyone thought we were doing a production of The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Hugs Mrs A.

Carol L said...

THis is hilarious, and someone with a brilliant wit put it all together! Thanks for the chuckles :)

CraftygasheadZo said...

That's so funny!! Take care Zo xx

Viv's Visuals said...

WELL! All I can say is them 3 wise men had better come up with more than one prezzie each - it didn't look much under the tree last year....
I can shout 'the bells the bells' as good as anyone.....
Where's me tea towel?????

Oh and a good funny too!

mamapez5 said...

That was very funny. It wouldn't work for Spain. We don't have any cows. Not down here anyway!
Thanks for the laugh. Kate x

MaryH said...

LOL....some really good ones here. Sad to say, some of them are a bit too close to the truth! Enjoyed a smile this evening. TFS

butterfly said...

Smile? I have cackled aloud from Bureaucratism onwards... Simply brilliant!
Alison xx