Friday, 4 September 2015

Friday Funny

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset.
‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me –faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!’

And the husband replied ‘Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.’

“Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”

And the husband began —

“Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t use because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t use because someone at work has a pair the same.”

The husband took a quick breath and continued –

 “She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

‘Please … do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?’

Tee hee!!  A bit naughty but I couldn't resist sharing with you!!  Linking with my good buddie Annie for Friday Smiles!!


Annie said...

Hehehe Thanks for starting my day off with a smile Sam. Now all I need if for my builders to turn up today [they were busy on another job yesterday!] and my day will be a good one :-)
Annie x

SARN said...

Smirking in the corner here!


Hugs, Sarn xxx

Barb said...

Hehehe! another Friday smile from you Hettie. Barbxx

Laura said...

Happy Friday

Robyn Oliver said...

A smirky grin from me too sure do find the 'goodies' Have a fabulous weekend Robyn

Twiglet said...

Where do you find them Hettie!!! lol x Jo

Lisca Meijer said...

Hehe! I didn't see that one coming!
Thanks for the big smile you gave me this morning.

Anne said...

Hee hee love it!!! X

Anne said...

Hee hee love it!!! X

Anne said...

Hee hee love it!!! X

sue jones said...

ha ha ! Have a great week x Soojay

Kathleen said...

Couldn't help but laugh.

Kath x

mamapez5 said...

I didn't see the punchline coming again! Thanks for the smile. Kate x

Diane said...

Good one Hettie.

Hugs Diane