Friday Funny

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbour asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ................





















"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."


I am linking with my friend Annie for her Friday Smiles!

Last Rudolph Day of 2014...Tea on Tuesday..

Hello There!

I have a bit of a quandry today...it is Tuesday 25th November.  For those that have visited before you will know that I usually share my Rudolph Day cards with you as well as a Tea on Tuesday, so today is no different and I am going to share both with you.

First of all my drink.  Now I don't drink Coke very often, specially not during the day naked - the drink not me!  Occasionally in the evening with a bit of vodka in maybe but today whilst in a shop I walked past a fridge and fancied a bottle so I reached in and picked one up, as well as paying for it.  It wasn't until I got back to the office that I saw what was on the front of it.  I did smirk as this is pretty appropriate.  So here it is for Tea on Tuesday.

And now for my Rudolph Day cards....

Isn't this Penny Black stamp just the best?  He is beautiful.  This is also his first outing.  I bought him at Absolutely Everything when I was over the pond.  I walked round that shop three times just trying to take everything in and this was the first thing I put in the basket.  Stamped with Ranger Archival ink and stamped onto white card.  I then inked it with Antique Linen DI.  The 25 December was stamped and inked the same with an East of India stamp. The reindeer strips are punched using an EK Success punch.  The Washi tape are from Hobbycraft..  All the words are cut from a Penny Black die twice, adhered together then inked with Festive Berries, as with all the other red embellishments and embossed with WOW embossing powder.

The papers used on all my cards were all to be found on my desk after finishing my C Album.  I say "finished" but it is only the construction that is finished.  

Card 2 - as ordered by Sandra at Stamping for Pleasure...

Here I used some wooden reindeer that I bought from Hobbycraft.  Aren't they deer?  Sorry about the pun!!  I was trying the Coronation Street look with the three flying up the card!!  LOL!!

The star (cut on Sizzix die) was hanging around in my C Basket.   The 25 stamp was cut using my Sizzix die.

I am not sure if you can see the gold shimmer on the cards which is TH Heirloom Gold?  Some of the red backgrounds on the stamp are made with glitter card Snippets by K&Co.  Those papers were expensive but cut beautifully and I tried to get every bit out of them.

Card No. 3...as an extra...

Here I added some TH Tissue tape as well as a die cut from Memory Box which I embossed with WOW Glitter embossing powder.

And Card no 4..just cos I was on a roll...

The background papers include MME, Basic Grey and Bo Bunny.  I thought it would be easier to use the Snippets than put them in the C Basket!

I do love this stamp.

This is Sandra's last Rudolph Day and I would like to say Thank You Sandra for getting this little bit of fun off the ground and ensuring that we have a stash of Christmas cards made before the silly season strikes.  I look forward to continuing next year with Scrappy Mo and I will keep you posted. 

Right...that is enough waffle from me.  Off to join the Rudolph Day, T on Tuesday, Crafty Hazelnut Christmas Challenge and the Snippets Playground with my little makes.  See you around. 

Thanks for calling by.

Hettie

Tour de Chook II - Birthday Cards

Hello There!

Wow another weekend is coming to a close and it is back to work tomorrow.  I am sure they are getting quicker these days.  I hear a little birdie earlier telling me there is only 4 Fridays left until Christmas!  Don't worry I shot it!  We cannot have birdies spreading vicious little rumours like that now can we?

Rightio.  On to today's post.  A friend of mine who I made a Chikkin card earlier this year asked me to make some more for her as she liked them so much so here there are....

A mixture of papers used, most of which were from the Snippets drawer.  I used some leftover from my Mum's Album K&Co on the top card.  The embossed white card was leftover from some cards I made earlier in the year.  I do love this Penny Black stamp which I colour in with my Copics.

These papers I printed on my Silhouette for another project and these bits were waiting in the drawer.  

The Happy Birthday stamp is Hero Arts and the Banner and Flags are Stampin Up.  The Border punch is EK Success.  I hate to think how old the brads are - VOS indeed.

Right then, I am off over to the Snippets Playground to see what everyone has been up to this weekend, if anyone is still up that is.

Have a great week and thanks for calling by.

Hettie

Friday Funny

NO Speak English

A German woman married an American gentleman born in Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his home town.

The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher counter and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts.

The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.

Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...


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What were you Thinking?

Her husband speaks English....hellooo!

I worry about you Sometimes!

I am linking with my friend Annie for her Friday Smiles!

Birthday for a Fella Friend...

Hello there

The weather right now is a bit unpredictable isn't it?  So I thought it was about time I shared this card make with you, which I made for a male friend a little while ago...

I used some Bella Carte paper that I bought on a Playground outing with Miss Di and Scrappy Mo last year, but had been waiting for a special occasion to use it.  I stamped it with my Ryn stamps raindrops stamp.    The TH Umbrella man was cut using the inside of a Kindle box which I hoiked out of my Snippets box!  Doesn't it look fabulous?

I cut a piece of pearlised turquoise with another snippet of this card...so nearly all gone now sadly.  The Gentleman's Choice is from an Artistic Outpost set that were kindly sent to me.  The tag on the right was cut using a Sizzix die and stamped onto a Snippet of kraft card and stamped with a TH sentiment, as well as the pocket which I stapled on.  I took the inspiration from a tag I made for the CC101 Challenge and just cased it.

This is on the back of the tag.  Inks used are Ranger Archival and Gathered Twigs DI.

I cut some strips of card stock to make some pennants and the long skinny one I run through my old Dymo tape runner and sanded the letters ever so carefully to make them pop!  The music ribbon is a last remnant that I bought a while ago and wish I bought more!

Right that is it for me today.  DO  NOT look at the bottom of my blog where it tells you how close Christmas is away...I told you NOT to look!!

Off to join the girls and boys who are bunking off school at the Snippets Playground as there are lots of Snippety Snippets on here.

Thanks for calling by.

Hettie

Playing with NBUS Stencils...

Hello there!

I trust you all had a good weekend?  I had my first Quilting Group meeting as the new Chairperson!!  I think it went alright.  Believe it or not I do not like speaking to groups so it is quite nerve racking for me!

Yesterday I spent the day away from the puter and playing with some Christmas baskets that I made, I will share those later on (I forgot to take a photo this morning and as it will be dark when I get home I will have to take them tomorrow - doh!).

So here are some cards that I made earlier...

I do love this purple on these cards.  I do wish I could remember where I got them from.  They are 4x4" and there weren't envelopes so I tend to make my own.  As you can see I have the knitwear stencil from Tim Holtz, another acquisition from my rent trip over the pond.  

The top card was actually quite tricky because the card is pearlised and the paste is Sweet Poppy pearlised paste, they slid a little,  I recently bought some Ranger paste to try that as the SP does slip under on the plastic stencils.  Does anyone else have trouble with this?

As for the rest, the tiny tags are cut using TH die and Snippets  the ribbons were from my stash and the snowflakes were cut using Spellbinders die and Snippets from my Christmas basket.  The Stickers are also TH, as is the Believe stamp.  The word Believe is my favourite word.  It gives us all hope!

Right, as I have rambled on enough now I shall potter down to the Snippets Playground and see if anyone is bunking off school to play hopscotch!  I really would like to win the die that Miss is proffering around this week!  

Hettie

Friday Funny

Some definitions for you...


ADULT:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:

A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS:

The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:

Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:

Cold Storage.

INFLATION:

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:

An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:

A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:

Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:

A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:

One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

YAWN:

An honest opinion openly expressed. 

And MY Personal Favorite!!

WRINKLES:

Something other people have,

Similar to my character lines.

We Will Remember Them...T on Tuesday

Hello Friends

Some of my regular followers and Facebook friends will know that a fortnight ago Mr Hettie and I went up to London to see the Poppies at the Tower of London.  The sight of all the poppies was absolutely fabulous.  There were still quite a few to still be "planted" too.  The sight was sad and beautiful at the time.  Each poppy resembled a life that was lost during World War One.  Mr Hettie's Great Grandfather was lost at Ypres in 1917 so it served as a reminder of family lost.  

As today is 11th November I thought it a fitting tribute to create a scrapbook layout of our trip in honour of all those men and women who died during that terrible War.  I hope you like...

 

The crowds were massive around the Tower and yet it was exceptionally quiet.  The landscape photo shows the moat almost carpeted in these beautiful china poppies.

The background paper is Graphic 45 and I thought the clocks were a good representation of time that has passed since 1914, which incidentally is the year Mr Hettie's father was born.

The poppy in the centre of the TH clock is from last year.  The small tag with the number on represents the number of our poppy.

I tore the background paper to share some more peeps of the poppies that were surrounding the Tower.

All the letters were cut using my Cricut and Stone Script adhered using my Xyron and then glossed with glossy accents.  Ink used is TH DI Black Soot and the TH die cut clock has a swoosh of Gold wax on.  I used a mixture of Bazzill and Papermania black cardstock, and some pieces are from my Snippets box. 

As it is Tuesday I am sharing this layout with my friends Elizabeth and Bleubeard with my cuppa which you may have noticed is in a cup that I haven't shared with you before.  My sharp eyed friends may recall seeing this on my desk full of paint brushes.  I bought it at Gaudi's La Pedrera in 2002 and never used it as a cup.  But since I bought my twirly whirly I needed to clear some clutter on my desk so decided to peel the label off the bottom, wash it and use it.  I am also taking this to the Snippets Playground.

Thanks for calling by.  I hope you like my layout and please spare a thought for those that fought in the First World War.

Hettie

Assorted cards...with NBUS

Hello there

Sunday evening here again and I am waiting for Downton Abbey to start.  Nowt on TV but on BBC 4 there is TOTP 1970s - boy I feel old as Police and Roxanne is playing from 1979!! I was still in Comprehensive then!!!!  Sting looks a little younger too!

Tonight I wanted to share two little cards I made recently, one to send to a friend as a kinda Hello card and the other a birthday card...

I used a NBUS Tim Holtz stamp that my Buddie Kim picked up for me. I stamped it with versamark ink and embossed with WOW white embossing powder.  I blanked out the "Birthday" word to make it non-birthday-have-a-cake kinda card.  The little die heart and star die cuts are made using Snippets and a NBUS Simon Says Stamp die which I collected from Kim recently.

And here is the Birthday one.  The Smile and Enjoy die cuts are NBUS Penny Black dies from Absolutely Everything.  Gosh...Blondie!!!!  I cannot believe I remember her first time round!  Of course she is now Deborah Harry now!  The purple cards I have had forever so they are VOS.

Now I am going to hit myself with a Rhythm Stick and do myself some cocoa and look for my zimmer frame while I go down to the Snippets Playground to see if the Young Ones have cleared up after last night's bonfire!  If they haven't perhaps I will thwack them with my stick!

Have a great week everyone.

Hettie

Friday Funny

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully in the next election, you can't always hear the bells.

If you don't laugh at this, you're chicken!

Welcome to your New Home..

Hello there

My lickle leggie pegs are still sore but getting better.  Thank you all for your kind comments.

One of my Blogging Buddies moved recently after a looooong sale of her house and I made her and her Hubby a lickle card to welcome them into their new home...

The Birdhouses were bought from a well known auction site a loooong time ago.  I was under the impression I was buying a die only to find I was buying some die CUTS!! They have stayed in my stash since and I thought it was high time I released them.

The background papers are We R Memory Keepers that came with a scrapbook album which again have been lurking in my paper stash.  I stamped them with a Tim Holtz birdies on a wire stamp.

I punched the strips down the side using some Snippets and my EK Success punch.  A little ribbon and three cards were born.  One went off to my friend and the other two are in my box for use at a later date.  

Off to the Playground to share these cards with my Buddies and for a hug with Parsnip.  Thanks for calling by and please leave me a lickle comment so I know you been.

Hugs

Hettie

Birthday wishes...

Hello Friends

First I want to say a huge Thank you for all your messages after my little close inspection of the driveway at the end of last week.  They are truly appreciated.  I just love that rabbit picture so had to share it with you all.

The cut leg is healing nicely...well as nicely as a tear can and my right leg is colouring up nicely.  I am playing a game with myself as to what new Distress Ink colour I can see each day!!  I kid you not!!  Very ouchie but no doubt I will soon be running around the Playground rather than hobbling.

I want to share some cards I made in true Snippet style at the end of September, just before Mr Hettie and I went away.  Two were for my niece and friend whose birthdays were whilst we were away hence my not sharing before...

The background pieces are K&Co which were left over from an album I made some time ago.  Very convenient sizing there on my part.  I mounted these onto some dark brown card, though one is cream card which I inked with DI.  I used a mixture of Stampin Up, Penny Black and Hero Arts stamps

All the flags were stamped on the reverse of Snippets with my SU stamp, then cut out and layered.  The hearts are cut from a Sizzix die and them embossed with a folder which I cannot for the life of me think which make.  Do forgive me for not running upstairs to find which one! I also brushed over some Treasure Gold wax.  The star braid is ancient and has been in my stash forever.  Some pearls dotted here and there and I was happy with the look.

I also made a non birthday version to send to a dear friend.

There we have three cards made and an extra for the box and my Snippets mountain reduced for a wee while! Yeah right!

I am taking these over to the Snippets Playground.  The girls over there, and Parsnip of course, are all keeping me topped up with hot chocolate and cuddles whilst I lay up in the Treehouse.  

Thank you all for calling by.

Hugs

Hettie