Friday, 27 February 2015

Friday Funny

THE CABBIE AND THE NUN


A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you"

She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

" Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"


"OK!" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."


The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

Wednesday, 25 February 2015

Rudolph Day

Hello there

Gosh 25th February has come round quick...or is it me?  It is time for the Rudolph Day gathering over at Scrappy Mo's place so here is my card to throw into the pile...

I took a Snippet of card and inked it up with Shaded Lilac, Dusty Concord, Chipped Sapphire and Black Soot DIs and just swooshed the colours all over.  Once dried I inked up my lovely TH snowflake stamp with some Versamark ink and then embossed it with white WOW powder before heating it with my heat gun.  I cut the top edge with a Tonic die but unfortunately it didn't turn out quite as I planned so I trimmed it down (I did the first die too close to the edge...oops!) and actually liked the curved shape.  So I cut out the MB Snowflake that I currently have on loan from Kath - thank you again.Then back to the drawing board as the piece was a lot smaller than planned.

Cue a NBUS stamp that I bought in US as part of a set that came with a large Poinsettia.  It was a Stampenduous stamp set reduced to $2.  I could not leave it there now could I?  So I inked it up with Versamark and embossed it with silver ink.

On both the card base and the inked piece I used my little splodge stamp, Shaded Lilac on the base card and Silver embossing on the inked piece.  Some silver twine round the inked piece, a tag cut from a Snippet, VOS brad and a Noel cut with my Penny Black die and hey presto another card for the box.

Off to link this with Scrappy Mo and the Snippets Playground.  You have until Saturday to join in on the Rudolph Day...short month this month being February.

Thanks for calling by.

Hettie

Monday, 23 February 2015

Happy Birthday Ann

Hello there

I had snow this morning on the way to work!  What was THAT all about.  I knew it was forecast for the guys up north but since when has South Wales been in the northern part of the country.  Pretty cold it is too today!

Never mine ey.  It is always warm in blogland!

I wanted to share a birthday card I made for a dear friend of mine.  So often she asks for me to make cards for her to send (remember my cows wedding card)  and it was nice to make her one and a 70th one at that!  


It is quite a trick colour for the camera to get right, as with a lot of purple shades.  It was more of a purple grey and some of these cards are more blue.  The photo below is the nearest I think, though the pale blue is not quite right.  You get the drift though.

I seem to be into flowers right now and making my own.  These are quite simply Tonic petal pairs punches (some of the first punches I owned) which I then poked a brad through several layers, then spritzed them and scrunched them over to make them as compact as possible.  Once they had dried off I just pulled them out a bit to created the buds.  Simples.
The dies and embossing folder are all from a set I had before Christmas that I hadn't used so were NBUS.  I kid you not, the embossing folder is a PITA if you have not got an A4 die cutter as it is designed so that you have one background sheet.  Maybe a nice fairy will be kind and deliver the new Sizzix one that is coming out!  Yeah right!!

To compensate for the not being able to use one sheet I added some silver behind, as well as some silver Ivy and Sizzix letters.  My favourite (and only) Memory Box butterflies, a ribbon bow and a spritz of Shimmer Mist and hey presto Ann's card was done.  

I used a plethora of Snippets on here and butterflies with ribbon so I am fluttering by the Snippets Playground and Mrs A's Butterfly Challenge.

See you later folks.  Keep warm and safe.

Hettie

Friday, 20 February 2015

Friday Funny - One for the Men!

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Chocolate is just another snack...

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife..

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.


___________________________________

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.


EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!


MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!


SO, share this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it .....

and to the men who will enjoy reading it!

Linking this with my Buddie Annie for Friday Smiles. 


Wednesday, 18 February 2015

WOYWW 298 - Note to Self....Clean your Desk!!

Hello there

Yes I have been caught out good and proper...I have left my desk in a bit of a mess it being WOYWW Day.   This is how I left it last night after I finished a layout....

It is a little dark as it was late and also the central bulb of three has blown and we did not have a spare!  

Wanna see my sewing desk?...

Yep!  Much the same.  I spread out on there with my Trusty B/S and dies. 

Wanna see a snippet of the layout?  Course you do.....

That is all I am sharing for now.  You will have to come back and see the layout in all its finery later.  

Off to link with Julia - the hostess with the mostest of WOYWW world.  Hopefully I have kept this short as Ms Julia requires.

Thanks for calling by.  Will see you later when I have finished work.  Tarra a bit!

Hettie

Monday, 16 February 2015

My Valentine...

Hello there

Was it just me or was that last weekend over in a flash?  I hope you all had a great Valentine's celebration.  Mr Hettie and I celebrated ours on Friday as Mr Hettie had to work on Saturday night.  I wasn't too bothered as I had already arranged to go do a dance on the night which was fun fun fun.  

We went to our local and had a great meal and Mr Hettie surprised me with a new bit of silver for my charm bracelet and another Boofle.  I was a lucky girl!

I thought I would share the card I made for him....

Yep!  I used my Sarntangle stamp, coloured with Copics and I applied some glossy accents to the hearts and the centre of the flower.  I stamped one of the sentiments with Potting Shed Archival, then mounted this on a Snippet of paper which was from a collection of papers which I sprayed, spritzed and generally had fun with some time ago.  I just thought the colours matched very well.

I rummaged through my little die cuts drawer and found some red stars which were cut with my SSS die. 

With a plethora of Snippets on here I am just running over the Snippets Playground to show my buddies.  If you like the stamps I have used why not join in as there is a set available as this week's prize.  If you wish to buy your own then click HERE.

Thanks for calling by.

Hettie

Friday, 13 February 2015

Friday Funny

Paddy first drink

Off we went to our local which is only two blocks from the house.

I got us some Fosters, he didn't like it – so I had his as well.

Then I got us some Carling Black Labels, he didn't like it, so I had his again.

It was the same with the 1664 Lager, Premium Dry Cider and all the other beers we tried.

By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push the bloody pram back home.

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Scrapbook layout...Hurrah!! Tea On Tuesday. Flutterbies!

Hello there!


Brrrr!  My craft room has been shut up all day and with no heating on it sure is cold when I come in!!  What we do for the love of our art ey!

Last night I finished off a layout that I started on Sunday, my first in months!!  So I am sharing it today with my trusty morning cup of Glengettie tea....

 What? You want to see the layout?  Oh! Go on then!!

Not the best shot for some reason as my camera has obviously focused on something.  I cannot take the photo now as it is too dark and the colours will be pants.

Some small close ups for you..



 And now one of  my favourite photos of the day...soooo long ago.  You see I love my headdress.  When I got married tiaras were just coming in and everywhere I went with my Mum to try dresses on the assistants kept insisting I had a tiara but as far as I was concerned, I had lots of those as a girl in my dress up box and so I wanted a grown up headdress.  I got my way, as you can see, even if the stroppy assistant had to order it in specially as the one in the shop had some pearls missing and it was grubby!!  I only planned to have one wedding and so I was having it my way!

I have to say, the upload of this post has taken so long thanks to BT that my tea has now changed to hot chocolate.  Over an hour just to upload the photos.  I hope you like them!

Off to link up with Elizabeth at Tea (or cocoa) on Tuesday as well as Mrs A for the Butterfly Challenge as it is a Valentine theme, and as usual the Snippets Playground as there are Snippets galore in here.  The rub on "You are my everything" is positively ancient and one of the last ones on the sheet so definately some VOS!! I am also joining the Cuttlebug Mania challenge as they are looking for I heart you.  I think this might count!!  I have used lots of die cuts on this layout. If you want to know about anything specific (I lost the will to live and list everything with this internet), ask away!

I shall now be resetting the internet and possibly shoving it somewhere so will be calling by later after that has been done and I have stopped chewing my desk!! 

Thanks for calling by!

Hettie